Karma

Some more things that I have been holding in that my closest and oldest friend dropped the biggest bomb on me. Her ex boyfriend called her because he wanna to discuss that was bothering him.. A guy that I had been / was / is in this off and on relationship for about 5 to 6 yrs now was telling all his brothers and friends that I call him all the time and that I randomly drive 4+ hrs to drive to visit him on my own.. he must have got our phone lines crossed because he's all saying come visit him.. this man has actually told me that he loves me.. but I have to remember how we started out.. it was a college fling.. meeting behind less crowed buildings, going off campus, the sneaking was a lot easier to deal with.. it just hurts because I try to give him his space but its still not working.. now with this one I think its really time to hand him a pink slip to exit my life.. Love is a lot of things but it couldn't be like this.. I cant be the girl that you wanna be with on your own terms.. I know that one day I'm gonna find a guy thats gonna love me when were alone and when were with his friends..

Imma Do Me.

Hi World! This is my first time blogging but I felt like I needed to vent and get some things off my chest.. Has there been a time when you have a phone full of numbers and feel so alone at the same time. I feel like often.. Doing this blog is gonna give me the chance to vent and put some feelings out there in the open. Hopefully I won't bore you too much with my complicated life.. we all have had the opens and downs but here lately I've been getting all the extras that come with life.. I'm not complaining because the Lord has being keeping me and he will continue to until he decides that its my time..
Ok I'm done rambling.. A couple of things happened last night but kinda felt me not in good spirit.. I have a friend that I have been knowing for about 9 yrs walked over to a convo that I having with another close friend so I stopped talking because the story was about another guy.. Of course he though I was talking about him.. Assured him wasn't.. Still there talking about I would tell him later.. Assured him I wouldn't... Dude starting loud talking about everything he has done for me because I said leave so I can finsh.. WTF.. so I'm getting upset because he is telling this to people that I don't talk to on a regular basics.. And then my friend says I need to say I'm sorry.. Nope I'm not gonna do it.. I would never in a zillion throw up things I have did for a person because if I do them out the kindness of my heart then that's it.. so he's all in my face I'm sorry.. I'm joking.. it too late and to top it he asks for a ride home.. True dude has been there for me but I don't have time for the drama.. that's all he is bringing me so I'm thinking of giving him the pink slip..